Thursday, April 29, 2010

a list about how I have no time to make any lists

I hate that I haven't blogged in so long but I've just been having a bit of a nervous breakdown this week...no big deal. Ha ha. It's the last week of classes and I am basically doing poorly in almost everything, which is completely embarrassing. I did this to myself, and yet I'm sitting here acting like it is some kind of unexplainable tragedy. Basically I'm just in a little bit of dark mode this week. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself and that terrifies me. I need to figure a lot of stuff out and I can't seem to get down to the figuring, I just sit and obsess until I my breathing speeds up and I need to find some kind of distraction just to get my anxiety down to a manageable level. Everything's kinda fucked. None of that is really a reason that I couldn't blog, but I have just been feeling too overwhelmed lately to do anything productive. I'm hoping that I'll turn it around this summer. I just need to get out of here. I'm sitting in the library trying to write essays and revise projects and it's all important but I just can't wrap my mind around any of it enough to get anything done. I feel nauseous. Ugh. I don't know I don't know I don't know.
  • I made a tumblr because I really needed one more way to waste time.
  • I have never been so goddamn excited to leave somewhere as I am to leave school right now, and I feel sort of bad about it. All of my friends are sad about packing up their rooms and saying tearful goodbyes, but me, the one who is never coming back here again? I could have my stuff thrown together and be out the door in a heartbeat without any inclination to look back.
  • Ummmm, I met Megan McCafferty last week. (!!!) I keep kind of forgetting that that happened. But it definitely did. And it was definitely awesome. She sang Barryoke and read us a story from her first grade notebook about dancing vegetables and it's one of the most purely happy experiences in my recent memory.
  • My Adam Lambert obsession is beginning to border on truly inappropriate.
  • THERE IS NO FUTURE, THERE IS NO PAST, THANKS GOD THIS MOMENT'S NOT THE LAST! THERE'S ONLY US, THERE'S ONLY THIS! FORGET REGRET, OR LIFE IS YOURS TO MISS! NO OTHER ROAD! NO OTHER WAY! NO DAY BUT TODAY!
  • ...yeah, I don't know why that just happened either....
  • It was lines from Rent, just to clear that up. Doesn't explain why it was included though, because there isn't a way for me to do that.
  • And speaking of Rent, I just recently introduced my friends from school to the Rent Filmed Live on Broadway DVD (which everyone should check out if they have not already. It's wonderful) and I was reminded once again of how disappointing Roger's song is. I mean, the guy spent a YEAR of his life working on his "one great song" and guess what? It kinda sucks.
  • I want a new coral-y nail polish. The one I loved last summer seems a little too orangey for my taste now.
  • I DIEEEEEEEEEE WITHOUT YOUUUUUUUUU
  • bahahaha what is my life
  • Oh, speaking of the ridiculous extended practical joke that is my life, a girl vomited on the floor in my school's student lounge yesterday. Yes. Really. She literally just stood up, puked, and then, with a understandably mortified expression on her face, grabbed all her crap and peaced out of there. WHAT?! WHAT?! Sometimes I am simply dumbfounded by the things that I witness. Like when I saw someone clipping their nails in public TWICE in one week. God.
  • I must do some work now. Goodbye, darlings.
listfully yours,
xoxo tess

oh and p.s: THIS IS AWESOME


all credit for this masterpiece goes to the sensational Hayley G Hoover.

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