a list about how I am going to write more lists

Well...remember when I said I was going to get myself back into blogging last month? That certainly went well...

But anyway, it's time to let bygones be bygones and move on to August! I love August! July is sort of like no man's land but August is, pure, sticky, sweaty summer, and you enjoy every second of it because September has become visible on the horizon. I meant to start this month off with a sensationally witty, well written post...but then I had one of the most ridiculous night's out that I can ever remember and woke up at about noon feeling like I might literally die. I've recovered a bit since then, although I will never recover the brain cells I murdered, but I'm still hung over and sunburned and certainly not on my A game. Sorry. Better luck tomorrow? Here's a random list about what I have going on in my life in August.

•  My aunt Megan will be here tomorrow for a month long visit! Meg lives in London and I don't see her nearly often enough so this is very, very, exciting. This also means that I get to see her little boy, my baby cousin, Oliver, for the first time since March. He's only ten months old so just imagine how different he'll be! Skype & Facebook are not efficient for keeping up with all of his baby- changes and growth and I don't like it. 
• Guys...I'm buying a car. My very own car that I can drive whenever and wherever I want. Just saying (well, typing) those words makes me feel very grown up.
• I went on a complete SPREE at Wal Mart yesterday and took home fifty dollars worth of stylish, quality garments from the Miley Cyrus line. I'm not even being sarcastic, her stuff is really damn cute. Got a pair of black jeans that make my butt look nice for SEVEN DOLLARS! That, my friends, is why I love America. Tawainese children may have slaved over those pants until their fingers fell off but I'll be damned if that's gonna stop me from celebrating that fabulous bargain. And I am going to wear the shit out of those pants and look good doing it. Among the rest of my loot was a zebra print bikini. Yup, you read that right. The more I shop from this clothing line the more I think Miley and I could be best friends. I mean, she was also responsible for these which are indeed blue leopard print leggings. And, just in case you were wondering, I did purchase those because they looked like something Mimi Marquez might wear. And I do tell people that whenever I deem it socially appropriate to wear them. Which, amazingly, has been several times.
• For whatever reason I have been listening to On to the Next One - Jay - Z featuring Swiz Beats like it's my job. That's a mo' effin jam.
• Emily and I layed out all afternoon and now I'm sunstroked and overheated BUT the tan lines on my neck/chest are a little more pronounced and I won't say that I don't like that.
• So, like, ummmm I have a life plan now. So, I flaked out on college last year. The school wasn't for me, true, but I'd be lying if I said I gave it the effort/chance it deserved. I let a lot of outside stuff and my own general craziness get in the way of succeeding, but no more. I'm going to work insanely hard to get all the credits I need to leave community college with an associate's degree by the end of the year and then transfer to UMass where I will continue my hard work and double major in Communications and Sociology and possibly minor in Writing as well (that might be biting off more than I can chew, though, and I really do hate overachievers.) I want to write a whole post on all this so I won't go on and on like I do about everything, but I'm really excited. I think I can do this, and I think it's going to be good.
• Ummmm it's almost time for True Blood. PRAISEHOSANAH!

Well, well, well, that's all lovers.
BUT I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW MWAAHAHAHAHA!!
oh my god. What am I. I need to go to bed right now, I've lost it. Bye.

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list about neglect

Okay, seriously I have seven blog drafts in the queue waiting to be finished right now. Completely unacceptable! I feel really terrible about by lack of updates in the last couple months (which, yes, I do realize is ridiculous because I have a whopping 3 followers and I'm quite confident none of you are losing any sleep waiting for me to post another dribble about my life, but still!!) I really love blogging and there's no good reason as to why I haven't been able to get anything finished and published lately aside from the simple fact that SUMMER MAKES ME LAZY. Ugh. It's a problem. I'm really not one of those like "yay lets go have summer adventures woooo!" kinds of people. I'm not opposed to summer adventures, but for the most part all I have the energy to do is lay in my air conditioned bedroom and watch marathons on Bravo. The sun makes me so lethargic, it's gross. Today however has actually been and will continue to be a busy day so all I have time for is a quick list of some things I've been up to while I was neglecting this blog.

• I finally got a job, and then promptly quit. It's a long story, but basically I was hired to work as a canvasser (the person who rings your door bell or comes up to you on the street to ask you to sign a petition about some issue, in my case, clean water/environmental affairs.) I like to consider myself a socially concious person, and all of the people at the organization were really young, friendly, and enthusiastic, so I was excited, but after a week of basically being forced to stand in the hot sun for ten hours trying to con people out of their money, I was less impressed. I did some research and found out that the whole organization is more or less a big scam. I'm trying not to let it dirty my image of non profit orgs, but I will admit my wide eyed enthusiasm has waned a bit. Oh AND they're currently being sued for violating workers' rights laws. Yeah...over that.
• My allergies have been INSANE this summer for some reason. Last week I had such an awful coughing fit that I sent myself into a full on asthma attack. I had to break out my inhaler for the first time since I was about twelve.
• I'm taking a summer math class. It blows. The end.
• My aunt bought a puppy. I named her Miley in an unironic show of appreciation for Miss Cyrus. She's cute and sassy and a little dimwitted and she has a bit of an overbite. It's a fair likeness.
• PLANNING ANOTHER TRIP TO LONDON. maybe, kinda, I hope. fingers crossed.
• Seeing Adam Lambert in concert was out of this world, and I mean that not only because his performance was absolutely amazing, but also because the behavior of the crowd (which was mostly scantily clad middle-aged women) was like nothing I have ever witnessed before. The whole thing was a phenomenal good time.
  
• I've become a person who wears rompers. Haven't decided if I'm okay with that but it's true.
• My cat enjoys the heat about as much as I do. We just sort of sit around pouting and trying to strike a balance between catching any possible breeze that comes our way and moving as little as we can.
• Remarkably, despite my vampiric tendencies, I have a bit of a tan.
• Speaking of vampires, I caught up on True Blood last month. ZOMG SO GOOD. I can't even handle it. There are no words that to do justice to the beauty that is Alexander Skarsgard.
• Lately I've been spending money like a fiend, and all of things I don't need. For example, all of a sudden it seems I have ten pairs of sunglasses.
  
• I have really missed this. I won't stay away so long again.
  

IT IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW. I'm gonna go sweat and complain! BYE!

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list of short term goals I am actively trying to achieve

I wanna do dis stuff.

• Tone my arms.
• Like always, lose 10-20 lbs.
• Work on a more normal sleep pattern. Or just on getting a reasonable amount of sleep, regardless of pattern.
• Learn to put on a full face of makeup like a real, grown up girl, not just how to smear on eyeliner and cover up zits.
• Take a trip to New York on my own and spend the whole day doing nothing but exploring the city all by myself.
• Bake a cake from scratch.
• Make some sort of legitimate plan for my academic future.
• Pass my summer courses. (preferably w/ good grades, but that might be pushing it at this point.)
• Grow out my hair again, then donate it to Locks of Love when it's long enough.
• Wean myself off of my habit of buying graphic tees. My collection is disgusting.
• Try vlogging.
• get a third piercing in my ear lobes.
• learn to find a happy medium between going out and partying constantly or staying in by myself almost every night. I can only seem to vacillate wildly between one or the other.
• save up to replace my clunker of a laptop with a beautiful 13" Macbook Pro.
• Enter the Glamour magazine essay contest.
• go to some awesome (& cheap!) shows this summer.
• be happy.

Working on any goals at the moment?
I hope you're having a better time with yours than I am with mine...

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list of the 10 best TV shows currently on air

Kenneth Parcell, that darling dimwitted NBC Page, said it best : "There are two things I love in this world: everybody and television." My love for television should embarrass me but I've made peace with it, and now try to use the obsession to help others, so here are my picks for the ten best shows currently on air.

• Glee : My favorite new show this season, most definitely. It's absolutely not perfect, not even the best of this bunch, but there's just something so sweet and earnest about this show that really tugs at my theatre geek heart strings. I will say, though, that if Glee had premiered when I was twelve or thirteen I would have been an absolutely insufferable Glee. At this point, though, I'm a fan who can love it with a touch of irony. I do embrace all things campy, so this was a match made in sequin-clad heaven.
• Community : Hysterical. This is the spunky, new kid on the comedy block that isn't afraid to be weird and a little offensive and which really hit it's stride towards the end of the season. Joel McHale is a sitcom revelation. And Gillian Jacobs!!! Gosh do I like Gillian Jacobs.
• 30 Rock : Favorite, favorite, favorite, favorite. There is no need to explain why this is one of the best shows on TV, because if someone doesn't get that, I don't get them.
• Parenthood : A lovely surprise! I committed to loving this show before I even saw it because I will support pretty much anything that Lauren Graham's name is attached to, but even I never thought it would be as wonderful as it is. ABC pitched this show to audiences as more of a family comedy, or at least that's what I got out of the ads, and so I was a little startled to find something much darker and deeper when I sat down to watch the first episode, but it was a pleasant sort of startled. I think that a cutesy, hour-long, less funny version of Modern Family would have flopped before the third episode, but this is nothing like that. This is a moving, earnest portrayal of an wonderfully eclectic and endearing family that can be at turns sidesplittingly funny, 100% relatable, and paralyzingly sad. The four adult Braverman children have the best chemistry of any TV kids I can remember ( I know they're not kids, but whatever) and any scene with all or some of them together is an absolute delight. Plus, okay, having Lorelai Gilmore and Nate Fisher back on my television AT THE SAME TIME? Definitely more than cool with that. Also, I've been a Mae Whitman fan for my, and her, entire life, (anyone remember State of Grace?) and she is brilliant as Amber. And also the best cryer, oh, ever. See evidence from Parenthood here, and from Hope Floats here. Omg.
• Mad Men : The most aesthetically pleasing hour of the TV week. Even if the writing and acting weren't as absolutely top notch as they are I might tune in just to watch beautiful people in fabulous clothes smoke and drink and brood. Looking forward to the quickly approaching start of season four.
• Parks and Recreation : So freaking weird and so freaking hilarious. Zany and absurd and adorable and wonderful. I can't properly explain why Parks and Recreation is so great, you just need to watch it. Amy Poehler is so cute in the weirdest possible way, and weird in the cutest possible way, and the entire ensemble cast is stellar.
• True Blood : I just finished catching up on the first two seasons of this beautiful, disgusting Southern confection and I am positively addicted. It's quite gross, completely over the top, and basically amounts to glorified porn, but it's a delicious guilty pleasure and I'm chomping (ha...vampires...chomping, get it? ruined what might have been a cute pun by explaining parenthetically? Yup, that's my style) at the bit waiting to suck down (See, there's the pun again) season 3 the moment it premieres.
• Modern Family : The funniest incarnation of the traditional family sitcom that I've ever watched. Yeah, ever.
• The Good Wife : I love Julianna Margulies like woah, so it's no surprise that I am so into her new show, but the fact that it is truly phenomenal certainly has as much to do with my love as my residual loyalties to Nurse Carol Hathaway do. Plus, I mean, a show about a female lawyer? HELLO, ALLY MACBEAL! The two shows actually couldn't be less similar and a girl lawyer protagonist is literally where the congruities  end, but still, I love me some Ally, so that piqued my interest. Also my beloved Matt Czuchry is doing some Emmy worthy work as one of Alicia's fellow junior associates and it makes me really happy. Basically this is just good, solid drama.
• Friday Night Lights : Best show one television. Best writing, best acting, just best. Seriously, this show doesn't get even a tenth of the recognition and love that it deserves. It's ridiculous. If I can recommend just one television show to anyone in the world, this is it. Watch it. Please.

I debated long and hard over including House on this list but in the end I just couldn't do it. I hated most of season 6 and I'm not loving the way things are going, especially since Huddy makes my skin crawl (which makes me a pariah among the House-ites, I realize.) It IS still a great show...I just miss Cameron/the original team/the old days. I bumped The Office off of this list as welll and I actually feel sort of bad about it, but any loyal fan of the show knows that this season was not anywhere near on par with the gold they've given us in past years. A few other honorable mentions that I still consider worth checking out are Nurse Jackie and United States of Tara (both of which are really excellent but had disappointing sophomore seasons after amazing debuts)

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list of stuff I like today

These are things that have made me smile in recent days.

• Raven Used Books, my favorite used book store, and the place where I have spent an unacceptable amount of money in the three weeks I've been home.
• United States of Tara! Quite possibly my favorite show on TV right now. Right up there with with 30 Rock, Community, Parenthood and Friday Night Lights. (I excluded Glee from the favorite TV shows because Glee is more just an explosion of joy than a television show for me. Also excluded are LOST, because I mostly watch it on hulu anyway, and because no show can really be compared the the Olympics of craziness that is Lost. Also didn't include Real Housewives of NYC because seriously... just seriously...) But yeah, US of Tara is AWESOME and I highly recommend it to anyone who feels compelled to invest more of their time in watching serialized dramedys. The writing & acting are superb and it's just all around fantasmic. Plus Marshall is one of the cutest characters ever.
• this shirt
• THE PERSON THAT BUYS ME THE SAVED BY THE BELL BOARD GAME!!!
• "If I Had You" - Adam Lambert. It's a jam, goddamnit.
• tumblr. I'm obsessed. Check mine out if you'd like.
• The colored Christmas lights that I still have strung up on the wall above my bed.
  
• Crybaby Slushies. So sour, so delicioso.
• laying facedown across my bed with the shades up and the windows open so that the hot sun and the slightest, most perfectly pleasant breeze hit the sensitive back of my thighs. It feels fantastic.
• My new nail polish: We'll Always Have Paris by OPI. It's purple and gorgeous.
• This video- so so so so precious!
• Just generally the fact that the Glee kids love eachother so much :) it makes me foolishly happy.
• Zadie Smith and every word that she has ever written.
• piscesinpurple She kind of epitomizes awesome.

that's about all I got for ya at the moment. we'll chat again soon.

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list of my favorite Glee performances (as of yet!)

I'm a Gleek. Here we go, my favorite performances, in no particular order because, trust me, compiling this list was difficult enough.

• I Dreamed A Dream. I can't even put into words how perfect and beautiful this was. Vocally flawless, visually gorgeous. And it was friggen IDINA MENZEL! SINGING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION! with her second coming, Lea Michele at her side. Nothing compares to that. Nothing. Lea and Idina doing Les Miz...nope, I'm still not over it.
  
• Run Joey Run. Quite possibly the campiest shit I have ever seen in my life and, dear god, did I eat it right up. (tip: It really gets better and better with each subsequent viewing.) Also, Lea was hysterical in this sequence, bbygurrl wants that Emmy nomination! (I hope she gets it.)
• Don't Rain On My Parade. Breathtaking. Can we just consider this Lea's audition to play my beloved Fanny Brice in a Funny Girl revival? And can we agree that she's got it locked up?
• Don't Stand So Close to Me/Young Girl. Ohhhh Matt Morrison. Emma and Rachel's giddy, girly reactions to Mr. Shue's performance pretty much mimicked the one I was having as I watched at home. He's so dreamy.
• Somebody to Love. This was just a glorious direction. I really love the group numbers because I'm just a big sap and I think all the kids singing together is super cute. Plus Finn's falsetto on the opening. Ahhhhhh
• Keep Holding On. The group banding together to support Quinn. It's just really sweet. Also I never liked the original version of this song (avril!) yet this one is still on heavy rotation on my ipod. The power of Glee.
• And I am Telling You I'm not Going. It was inevitable that they would have Mercedes sing this, but Amber completely killed it, so who cares if it's cliche.
  
• Rose's Turn. Oh. My. God. I very nearly peed my pants when this started. Gypsy is part of my heart and soul and Kurt is perfect and Chris's voice has never sounded stronger or better, and everything about this performance was outstanding. Oh, the high kicks!!
• My Life Would Suck Without You. Vocally, this was actually one of their worst performances. The voices sound very canned and almost kidz bop-y, but the sheer adorableness and camaraderie of the performance made it one of my favorites. I mean come on guys, they prepared that song just for Mr. Shue! That's all kinds of precious. Plus the revisiting of all their best past dance moves was excellent.
• Gives You Hell. Rachel's complete lack of subtlety is delicious. Plus my sister and I have rewound this performance about a hundred times just to watch this priceless little stomp dance thing that Lea does at one point, and I seriously suggest that you do the same.
  
• TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART. This one gets capitalized because it will be on repeat (with visuals) in my mind for probably the entire rest of my existence. Jon and Lea doing ballet on TV. I don't even know how to explain how perfect that is.
• Hello. Groff is perfect. He and Lea should always sing together, forever. The end.
• Maybe This Time. Simply beautiful, everything about it. Even Cheno's show off note at the end.
• Defying Gravity. Not only did this one sound gorgeous, but the meaning that this song has for both characters is obvious and heartbreaking, and I think Lea and Chris both brought that through beautifully.
• Jump. Basically, it just made me happy.
• Don't Stop Believin'. Of course not list of best Glee performances would be complete without including this one. I still vidivdly recall how blown away and excited I was after seeing this in the pilot that aired last May, and how many times I listened to it over the summer in eager anticipation of the episodes to come, and, proving how great it is, it has yet to get old. This is just a really heart warmer. Glee is so cheesy and campy but there is such a sweetness and pure joy and positivity radiating throughout it. Ugh. Love!
  

honorable mentions: Kurt's audition Mr. Cellophane, Puck's rendition of Sweet Caroline, Rachel's On My Own which would be on the list except that I've heard Lea sing it much better (which is really saying somethiing because the Glee recording is beautiful. God is that girl talented,) and the entire Madonna episode because the whole thing just felt like one big cone bra-ed, faux British accented, Madge-ified performance, and I loved it all.

listfully yours,
xoxo tess

a list of adorable

I like things that are adorable.
Here is a list of things that are adorable.

• THESE! ahhh, get me these! these are spectacular.
• In the Heights. Just the show in it's entirety. It's beautiful and sweet and it warms my heart. If you're unfamiliar with it...you really shouldn't be.
• Dads carrying children on their shoulders.
• The infamous You Belong With Me video that got Kanye in all that trouble. Adorbz
• Beanies.
• The natural (white) colored Chucks. Adorable and very quintessentially American.
• Penny candy stores.
• Toddlers that wear glasses.
• Boys that don't know how to knot their tie.
• The Odyssey, an independent bookstore in South Hadley with a gloriously decorated children's section that makes me wish I was six again so I could appreciate it properly.
• Hand-holding.
• Nerdfighterlike.
• Polka dot bikinis.
• My cat.
• Selena Gomez. I'm sorry, but she's my favorite Disney kid and I think she is all kinds of cute (although her music career...really shouldn't exist...). Plus she's hilarious on Wizards of Waverly Place.
• Rain boots.
• Humility.
• These pillowcases
• Those contraptions that cut your sandwich into cool shapes! I saw one at Target that would cut your sandwich into two dolphins and a little heart all in one slice. Ingenious AND adorable! *
• And, ummm Zac Efron. The boy epitomizes adorable.

Also, am I the only one who sees pictures of Zac Efron and feels like a pedophile? I know that he's like 5 years older than me but there is just like this Disney-fied aura of cuteness and innocence surrounding him for me, which makes his hottness kind of problematic.
I hope I just made someone feel like a creep.
listfully yours,
xoxo tess

*I'm not even exaggerating my enthusiasm. I want one of those really badly.