a list of reasons why my math class is awesome

It's only 11 in the morning and I have already had a very eventful day. Katie and I had our "Math for Liberal Arts" (aka Math for People Who Can't Do Math) class at eight thirty this morning. Before the semester started I had been nervous about this class because A) I function at the level of about an eight year old when it comes to all things related to numbers, and B) Eight thirty in the AM seemed WAY too early to even attempt something as puzzling arithmetic, but I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that this class is a complete and utter joke. Really, someone should be filming the things that go on in that room, it could be sold off to become reality TV gold. Today's events were particularly ridiculous.

• Our professor started off the class by interrogating a student about why he had not been to class in a few weeks...when he actually HAD been in class. The student was one of only two boys in this class, and a senior who only needs to pass this one class to graduate. His name is Bill, and because Katie and I are incredibly mature, we are somewhat obsessed with him. Not in a like crush-y type way, but because Professor Yoshi (not exactly his real name, but more appropriate) has clearly deemed Bill to be his favorite, and the two have countless amusing exchanges. Today's debate over whether or not Bill had been at the past several classes went on for quite a few minutes and left us openly laughing and on the road to being fully unable to do any type of math work.
• Next came the word problems. I won't go into any detail about what kind of math we were doing because I don't really know what it is we were doing, and anyway it's stupid and can barely be called math. But these words problems were outstanding. Our book was published very recently and it has lots of modern pop culture references, I guess to get student's more interested in the material. (It fails on that effort, but does serve to make us laugh quite a bit.) One problem was about how many children had seen certain movies, The Lion King, Shrek, and Finding Nemo. The data in the book said that only 2 out of 53 children had seen all of these movies which is completely preposterous. This sent me off on a tangent about how I would eat my own hand if anyone could produce for me a group of 51 American children that had not seen these movies. Ridiculous.
• Another word problem talked about what kind of drinks people at a frat party liked. Dead serious...this book is something else. Once I read that one of the choices was Boone's Farm Apple Wine I could simply not go on with the work for various reasons, the largest of which being Joseph Birdsong's (youtube.com/disneykid1) recent obsession with regularly consuming very large amounts of the wonderfully disgusting excuse for wine that Boone's is. Being an obsessive DK1/5awesomegays fan, I had to immediately send Joe at @reply on twitter informing him of my discovery. Fingers crossed that he'll see it and reply. I'd probably pee in my pants.
  
• No one is learning anything. Like, not possible.
• Homophobia, racism, and whores are just a few of the topics Yoshi covered today.
• "If you go to party and someone asks you what the value of zero is, you will be able to tell them." -Professor Yosh. THANK GOD!
• He asks of "did you succeed?" when he wants the answer to the problem, meaning I am marked as a failure every time I shake my head, no, I did not succeed because I have been doodling in the margin the entire time we were meant to be working.
• Bill, of the needing this credit to graduate and being accused of missing weeks worth of class, left the room midway through the class and did not return for about ten minutes. A girl who sits near him in the back of the room left just after he did, returned just after he did. I mean...I'm not suggesting anything per say, but we have our theories. She did look particularly redfaced and rumpled when she got back...I'm just sayin'. SCANDAL! loves it!
  
• A problem involving country music stated that all country music revolves around one or more of three themes: Love, prison, and pickup trucks. Ahh, don't you just love a good politically incorrect stereotype in the morning?

That's all I have for right now. I need to do all the homework I didn't do this weekend before my Persuasive Writing class at two thirty. I also need to watch this video ---as many times as humanly possible. (you should probably watch it too.)

Oh, also, Katie and I have been spending a lot of time to planning out our dorm room situation for next year. Along with dedicating an entire closet to booze (classaay!) we will most certainly have this amazing poster on our wall. It changes from one image to another! Gagalicious.

I am also really hungry. I wish I could walk to Chipotle, because I was craving it all weekend, but alas I think due to time (and budget) constraints the caf salad bar will have to do.

listfully yours,
xoxo tess